Some days are eager with the uncanny trappings of familiarity in them. Suddenly you think about things that you have become aware of. The people who have gone distant, people who have meant a great lot to you and forgotten you as a long-lost verse, all the times that will never happen again…I think it’s a mixed bag of loneliness and nostalgia.
All the days are full of moments that never stays. The ones you want to shroud yourself with, are the quickest ones to leave. You think closely of your laugh and support, you recall the trips, late nights. The hurt also presents itself in a charming revision. Aching familiar in a way that made you feel like a child…before DD2, RASNA, GEOMETRY BOX, Oiled hair, Sunburned shoulders, Mills & Boons and in bed by Nine. Who can describe a glance that triggers a floodgate of memories? Who can decipher the wind-swept lock of hair, a smile, a smirk, a remark?…
I think it’s the power of association.
It’s strange how best moments of our lives goes unnoticed except in retrospect. When you finally go back to your old hometown…you find it was not the old home you missed but your childhood association…remembering getting high on swings, your dad’s shoulder, your mom’s cooking…your friends, your siblings…the only hurt you get is skinned knees and the worst thing a boy could give you is a badly penned love confession…and why did we could not wait to grow up??
You long about the comfort of childhood cocooning yourself with pillows…I guess it’s not much the comfort itself as well as knowing someone always there to comfort you.
Memories gives you a sense of possibility. It makes all that happened feel like unfinished business and it tries to finish what never was, It’s neither reality nor unreal. It’s just wish-fulfillment of potentials. Memories can be perceived in two ways. You can try to restore it while it exist only in time. I perceive deep down….that it is irrecoverable. It gets a lot of creative license. It omits and enhances. It will place value on the pieces your emotions have touched. The power of association is always in the cusp thread of past and future. We strew memories like a marking trail for our own life.