Low self-esteem and shame are what Julianne Marguerite learned to accept as she grew up around the daily confusion due to her parents’ immoral involvement with another couple. And as she lived around these circumstances Julianne Marguerite knew full well she had to find her own ways to survive the emotional downfalls that this arrangement would have on her.
From the time she was little Julianne Marguerite loved music. At times when her mother Edith was away from the home she would find herself listening to the words of the operas as they were sung when released from the black records that were turning on the old Victrola that sat on a desk in the halfway across from their piano.
Julianne Marguerite didn’t understand the words but somehow she felt a sense of power filling her inner soul when the singers sang their musical stories. She too had a story to tell. Maybe someday she would release her words by way of music too. Only time would tell.
When she was sixteen Julianne Marguerite was given a guitar. She spent hours trying to figure out how to make it sound like music you wanted to listen to. With the aid of a little ABC Beginner’s Guitar Book, and with hours and hours of practice it wasn’t long before her fingers were able to form chords across the frets and created music that moved her to want to learn more.
It didn’t take long for Julianne Marguerite to understand how the singers felt as she visualized them standing in front of her while she watched those records turning. As she strummed the different cords on the guitar she was almost positive that she knew their feelings. Julianne Marguerite believed she found herself feeling the same way when she sang her songs.
Even though Julianne Marguerite was hearing impaired this did not stop her from wanting to be a part of her music. Many times she placed her ear on the body of her guitar so that she could “feel” the music as she played. Music became a moving force in her life and one that would help her to escape the reality of her daily life. She trusted that music would allow her to see beautiful things outside her ugly surroundings.
Julianne Marguerite lived for every moment she could break up the routine of everyday life and had time to lose herself with the songs she played on her guitar. These were moments when she could feel the songs lift her out of the present and take her to a place where no one could hurt her anymore. It took her to a place where she saw herself basking in the peace gifted to her by her music.
These moments helped Julianne Marguerite restore her soul and gave her the will and ability to keep chasing after the rainbow of time when she would no longer be trapped in a web of unwanted uncertainties. No these were moments where she would be free to spread her wings and experience life in a way that made her feel the hope and possibilities that would await her once she was able to remove herself from the grips of her current woes.
In her heart, Julianne Marguerite longed for this time and was determined to never lose sight of her imagined rainbow despite the stormy clouds that loomed overhead for most of her young life. Many may have thought her to be a dreamer…wasting time. However, she saw music differently. Music helped Julianne Marguerite become a believer. She vowed never to give up…never to let the music die despite what others did to her. She wanted to spin life-like those old black records did when she was listening to the music on the Victrola. Julianne Marguerite made her determination firm. In her heart she would know that eventually she would and set out on a quest to find such a life. Music would lead her to the pot of gold under her rainbow.