Choices Determine A Relationship

Right Spouse


Looks, money and security are the prime three benchmarks for selecting a spouse. Looks in terms of skin color, face structure, figure and health. Money in terms of purchasing power, wealth, position, career. Security in terms of house and other assets saved for a rainy day.

Important in today’s life but still they are not permanent. A normal life starts with these things, but by now everyone should now that normal in reality is rare, or abnormal. What is then normal? Life’s up and downs, challenges, problems and everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Besides those primary things that should be taken with a pinch of salt (provided you are not a heart patient), there are other very subtle but highly important factors that should be taken into consideration. Small, insignificant factors that act like nails, because only these nails, will hold up the frame of a marriage or life from falling apart.

These are: compatibility, acceptance of good, bad and the ugly. Flexibility, friendship, being on the same wavelength or page. And the most important of all, the spouse or the partner should be the one who will enhance your nature for the betterment. Have the ability to show you the mirror, be able to make you believe in yourself, make sure that they are your backbone, no matter what. And of course, take you to the path of self-recognition, self-realization and spirituality. To help you to understand your own soul, to make you, who you really are or should be, lovingly but firmly. And vice versa!

Historians, poets, medical experts, spiritualists and many others have always propounded that youth, money and healthy body never lasts long. They are so temporary. What lasts long is only your character, your nature that you built over time. As for the soul, it’s timeless.

Despite knowing the fundamental truth that one never takes with them at the time of death anything more than the experiences and karmas, then why run after frivolous things? To save for the children and grandchildren? Well, they come with their own respective karmas, you can only help them, not live for them. However, the desires, temptations and man-made laws are too strong a hold over one to shrug them off. Hence, most of the decisions are made on the basis of what others think, behave and tell you.

If you are wise, you will know that what is there to come will come and running after butterflies is no good. Having self-confidence is better, making the right choice is even better. It lasts longer and like a good business person, the right acumen is knowing when a good investment, is that which gives good returns for a long, long time.
Thus, whether choosing a spouse, partner or life’s choices, understand which is better, by checking the options and your needs through a 360 degree eye glass for the present and the future.

About the author
Dhara Kothari is the founder of Katha Kosa, a venture to promote story telling. Katha Kosa is aimed at reviving the art of storytelling for all age groups and to maintain the oral tradition of passing on culture, tradition and history through stories. Dhara is also the co-founder of Spiritual Lounge, a global spiritual group to promote true spirituality and is a spiritual counsellor as well. She lives in Mumbai, India and is passionate about books and writing. She was born with curiosity, which led her to self-awareness and onto the blissful path to the end. Meanwhile, she is a professional writer, storyteller, game inventor and practising acupressurist. This spunky Sagittarian is as creative and interesting as one can get.To learn more about Dhara visit and

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